So I resurrected the ol' New Aesthetic blog today. It kind of made me feel a bit omnipotent, that I was able to find the long-dead Web log (whose URL we let lapse years ago and is now for sale), give it a new URL, rename it and even update the html for the Friends box. These are not major feats for more technologically adept people, but for me, it was a great achievement worthy of a hearty self-pat on the back.
I even went back and reread some old posts I wrote and didn't cringe. Now THAT'S something.
So I've been thinking for some time that I need to start writing recreationally again. It brings me joy. And also deep fear about what people think of what I've written. But mostly joy. I used to want to keep a blog about the unique challenges and wonders of newlywed life, but now that Philip and I have been united in holy matrimony for almost six years, I think I have to finally let go of the cute idea that we are still newlyweds.
Nevertheless, marriage at any stage is still ripe soil for storytelling, so I think I will go ahead and explicitly exploit our relationship for the practice of my craft, and also, hopefully, for the enjoyment of my readers (fingers crossed I have some).
Plus, we seem to be at a crossroads, having decided that we are, at long last, ready to start a family. I have to admit, saying it out loud makes me shudder just a smidge, as I've always recoiled when people ask the inevitable question, "So ... when are YOU going to have kids?" After six years of marriage, we're hearing it more often, and I even imagine people are silently asking it in awkward pauses sometimes, i.e., I apologetically explain why we don't have kids yet even when nobody inquired.
Pretty much every couple we know has entered the baby universe. This includes couples who are years younger than us, couples who were married long after us, and even couples who swore they would never procreate. OK, there are a few of you husbands and wives out there who are still among the childless ranks with us, but you are far between.
To be honest, I don't know why it has taken us so long to decide it's time. But to be even more honest, I don't understand how everyone else got to that point so quickly. Frankly, the thought of being a parent scares the $#!+ out of me. I don't even know how to change a diaper, let alone teach a child how to cope with rejection or explain heaven. And the other side of it is pure selfishness -- I enjoy sleeping in and traveling all over the place and generally doing as I please.
But lately (that is, when I turned 30 about 15 months ago), my thinking began to shift. The "someday" of when I wanted to have kids seemed much more imminent. The face I saw in the mirror didn't look like a clueless, helpless 20-something; it was the face of an adult with her feet on the ground and a little know-how about surprisingly a lot. The baby aisles at Target, which had NEVER attracted my attention in the past, suddenly piqued my interest. (One day, while researching ideas online for a baby shower I was throwing, I ended up on a baby-nursery blog and was downright engrossed.) Philip and I have our finances pretty well in order and have checked off some major life-list items, including taking one big dream trip. And I just felt ready for what's next. Four years at my job and in our house, and I'm feeling the itch for another adventure, one with gravity.
And Philip has been moving slowly in this direction too, to my great relief. While we were in Thailand at a resort, we kept passing by the kiddie pool and both felt the twinge: Oh MAN, that pool looked fun!
So on this blog, I shall chronicle our journey toward parenthood, which, Lord willing, will be quick and effortless, but could take some time and turn out to be painful and disappointing (which is another reason I hesitate to even admit we're "trying," but c'est la vie, it's out there now). And of course, I still intend to bore you with one-off tales of my press trips (read: how hotels and tourism bureaus bribe me with over-the-top meals and indulgent spa treatments so I will write nice things about them) and just the regular goings-on of our quasi-suburban life. I hope you'll come along for the ride.
Friday, June 03, 2011
Sunday, February 03, 2008
GOT OUR SEA LEGS
Philip and I just got back from a quickie trip we took to sail on a segment of the maiden world cruise of the Queen Victoria -- one of the perks of my job. :) Check out pics here.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
THE CHRISTMAS STORY
OK, a couple things before I start: My husband is so cute and smart. I loved that post about Google Maps. Also, I love Christmas. I was feeling pretty stressed and insecure when I wrote that last post of mine, but there's no changing the fact that I love Christmas desperately.
Glad that's said. Now, for the real post...
Which is related to loving Christmas. I got an email today with some Scripture in it. I don't read the Bible much, honestly. I don't know if it's the language or the confusing parts or the layers upon layers of context that escape me or the fact that it's not chronological which is kind of annoying, but I don't. But there is one story that I love and never get tired of, and it hits me square in the gut every time - the Christmas story.
My favorite thing about it is what it tells us about God. He sees that there is a distance between him and people, a disconnect. People are struggling with all sorts of problems, both caused by their own selfishness and also caused by circumstances out of their control. Bottom line: The world is broken. So he decides to leave heaven or the spiritual realm or wherever it is that God lives, and come here to earth to intervene and bring hope and help and a life-giving way of life, and to let people know once and for all that they are OK with him.
So the first thing that is so mind-blowing is that God doesn't stay out there somewhere in the cosmos - he comes here. Emmanuel - "God with us."
Then, he comes in the most underwhelming way possible. He chooses to come as a helpless, fussy baby, born to a poor woman who isn't even married yet, who's on the road, who can't even find a warm bed. She and her fiance end up in a barn, which smells like animal excrement and is cold and dirty. Their families and friends are far away; they're all alone. There are no midwives or doctors around to help them. She gives birth in this place, which is a messy, dangerous, painful process, and there is no bath to wash her or the child, and there is no cushioned cradle in which to lay him or fresh baby clothes to dress him in. So they find some scraps to wrap him in, and then she places him in the feed trough.
Seriously!
I've got to tell you, I wrestle with this whole Christianity thing all the time. The church sometimes drives me nuts. The Christian culture and assumptions often make me feel uncomfortable. Etc. But Jesus breaks my heart in half.
People were expecting a dashing warrior king to come and save them from the oppressive Roman empire with a powerful sword. The wise men, searching for Jesus, went straight to the reigning Jewish king, assuming that's where the Messiah would be. Nope. He's in a stinky, dark cave with some cows and donkeys. And who does God announce this incredible news to - that he's here, among us? Shepherds. Working men with little status or money. And who does he reveal his guiding star to? Wealthy foreign astrologists. It's so bizarre, so upside-down, but it somehow makes sense.
God's actions indicate that he came for the broken, the lonely - the average, everyday person just trying to get by, and he came for the seekers - those who know there is more to find and it's worth searching for. God's choices suggest that he likes surprises, he's impossibly humble, and his priorities are backwards - in a good way. He doesn't care about appearances, and he sometimes chooses to work through difficult situations so that he will be enough. And the nativity shows that he trusts us, people, to participate in the story he's writing.
Glad that's said. Now, for the real post...
Which is related to loving Christmas. I got an email today with some Scripture in it. I don't read the Bible much, honestly. I don't know if it's the language or the confusing parts or the layers upon layers of context that escape me or the fact that it's not chronological which is kind of annoying, but I don't. But there is one story that I love and never get tired of, and it hits me square in the gut every time - the Christmas story.
My favorite thing about it is what it tells us about God. He sees that there is a distance between him and people, a disconnect. People are struggling with all sorts of problems, both caused by their own selfishness and also caused by circumstances out of their control. Bottom line: The world is broken. So he decides to leave heaven or the spiritual realm or wherever it is that God lives, and come here to earth to intervene and bring hope and help and a life-giving way of life, and to let people know once and for all that they are OK with him.
So the first thing that is so mind-blowing is that God doesn't stay out there somewhere in the cosmos - he comes here. Emmanuel - "God with us."
Then, he comes in the most underwhelming way possible. He chooses to come as a helpless, fussy baby, born to a poor woman who isn't even married yet, who's on the road, who can't even find a warm bed. She and her fiance end up in a barn, which smells like animal excrement and is cold and dirty. Their families and friends are far away; they're all alone. There are no midwives or doctors around to help them. She gives birth in this place, which is a messy, dangerous, painful process, and there is no bath to wash her or the child, and there is no cushioned cradle in which to lay him or fresh baby clothes to dress him in. So they find some scraps to wrap him in, and then she places him in the feed trough.
Seriously!
I've got to tell you, I wrestle with this whole Christianity thing all the time. The church sometimes drives me nuts. The Christian culture and assumptions often make me feel uncomfortable. Etc. But Jesus breaks my heart in half.
People were expecting a dashing warrior king to come and save them from the oppressive Roman empire with a powerful sword. The wise men, searching for Jesus, went straight to the reigning Jewish king, assuming that's where the Messiah would be. Nope. He's in a stinky, dark cave with some cows and donkeys. And who does God announce this incredible news to - that he's here, among us? Shepherds. Working men with little status or money. And who does he reveal his guiding star to? Wealthy foreign astrologists. It's so bizarre, so upside-down, but it somehow makes sense.
God's actions indicate that he came for the broken, the lonely - the average, everyday person just trying to get by, and he came for the seekers - those who know there is more to find and it's worth searching for. God's choices suggest that he likes surprises, he's impossibly humble, and his priorities are backwards - in a good way. He doesn't care about appearances, and he sometimes chooses to work through difficult situations so that he will be enough. And the nativity shows that he trusts us, people, to participate in the story he's writing.
TRUE DAT, DOUBLE TRUE
I've been bored at work this week. Not bored, as in I have nothing to do, but bored as in I would rather be anywhere else. Christmas-break-itis? Probably.
In the wake of my boredom, I started playing around with customized Google Maps. Samberg was right, Google Maps are the best. I've come up with my first cut at a hiking loop that I really enjoy up in the southwest Smokey Mountains. The high point of the trip is sitting on top of Gregory Bald and being able to see for miles around. The loop is about ~20 miles and can easily be done in two nights. Google Maps allowed me to put custom markers on the map (with details on each), but unfortunately, I wasn't able to trace the exact trail. You probably can and I just haven't figured it out. So, for your enjoyment:
In the wake of my boredom, I started playing around with customized Google Maps. Samberg was right, Google Maps are the best. I've come up with my first cut at a hiking loop that I really enjoy up in the southwest Smokey Mountains. The high point of the trip is sitting on top of Gregory Bald and being able to see for miles around. The loop is about ~20 miles and can easily be done in two nights. Google Maps allowed me to put custom markers on the map (with details on each), but unfortunately, I wasn't able to trace the exact trail. You probably can and I just haven't figured it out. So, for your enjoyment:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)