What you might do is go ahead and make an appointment at an
acupuncture clinic that has been recommended to you by friends — including one
friend who had success with IVF.
Then you might drive all the way there at 8 a.m. to fill out
five lengthy forms and have a consultation with an awkward, mustachioed man in
what amounts to a closet. He may check your pulse and glance at your tongue,
quickly concluding that your pulse is weak, and your tongue looks infirm —
signs of run-down internal organs. Then he may demonstrate complete ignorance
about Western fertility treatment, contradict himself, confuse you regarding
the safety of taking Chinese herbs, and refuse to treat you because you just
had an insemination and there is a small chance you’re pregnant. Then he might
bid you adieu, but only after charging you $25.
The next day, you might go to yoga and feel like a failure.
Every pose may feel strained, and you may feel like you can’t keep up. You may
dwell on your weak pulse, ill-looking tongue, and malfunctioning kidneys and
spleen. You may think about how you strive and strive to do everything in your
power to be well — the disciplined exercise, the careful stress management, the
scrupulous diet, the restraint when it comes to sugar, caffeine and alcohol —
and how none of it matters; you’re still an unhealthy, infertile mess. You
might lay in shavasana, silently ball your eyes out and assume that your yoga
instructor thinks you are an emotional train wreck.
But then it might dawn on you that said mustachioed
acupuncturist might just be a giant asshole, and that it might behoove you to
seek out an acupuncturist who actually has a clue about your lifestyle, your
condition and the treatments that typically accompany it.
You might have someone suggest to you that you call the
fertility clinic to see if it recommends any specific acupuncturists.
This is good advice.
When you call your fertility nurse, she will tell you to
stay away from Chinese herbs while undergoing hormone-injection treatment. She
will say it’s safe to have acupuncture after an IUI. And she will give you a
recommendation of an acupuncturist who has a whole section of her website
devoted to the use of acupuncture in conjunction with Western fertility
treatment.
So, if you think to yourself, “I should go get acupuncture,”
the first thing you should do is call your fertility nurse. Then you will avoid
all mustachioed swindlers who make you feel like shit. This has been a
public-service announcement.