In the past week, two different people (both Christians, by the way) have commented to me that the honeymoon is more important to plan for and allot funds to than the wedding.
The first, a woman, reasoned that the family and friends who would attend the wedding and reception wouldn't appreciate all the effort and cash spent on throwing a great party for all of them to enjoy, so why bother? They'd just complain about the food or the wait service, so forget them. Spend your energy and money on planning a fun honeymoon, and make it about yourselves.
The second was a guy. Now, I understand that men, in general, are more excited about the honeymoon than the wedding itself, because nonstop sex in an exotic locale captures their attention more than frou frou bouquets and one-day-rental tuxes with backless vests. However, this guy I was talking to spoke in terms of "we," as in, both he and his (female) fiance agree that saving up money for the honeymoon and spending time planning it is a higher priority than the wedding itself.
Is it just me, or is that a little jacked up?
I'm not really one to think on the spot. No, I just kind of chuckle awkwardly and look at the floor if somebody says something that for whatever reason rubs me the wrong way. Then I think more about it later, come up with what I should have said, and then tell the blogosphere. So here it is.
Why do we get married? Is it so that we can jet over to Hawaii, play on jet skis, and swim with the dolphins? Do we invite others to our ceremonies just because they'll get ticked if we don't? Is the wedding just something to get over with, so that the real fun can start in the Heavenly Bed®?
No, we get married so we can become one, so God can supernaturally and mystically bind our lives and our bodies together for life; and we do it in the presence of witnesses who love us and who we want to share in the mystery and the joy. These are not pesky people whom we have to begrudgingly feed and entertain before we can get started on the fun stuff. We don't invite them because we're expected to. We invite them because their presence makes the experience deeper. And we include them by planning a meaningful ceremony that will engage their attention, by being involved in and prayerful about selecting the words that are said and the songs that are sung. We thank them and celebrate with them by throwing a great party, with beautiful decorations, delicious food, dancing, laughter, and hugs.
I'll go on lots of vacations with Philip, but I'll only marry him once. We'll travel the world over, but I'll only say "I do" one time. I'll wake up with him in paradise many times in the course of our life together, but I'll only bring all our loved ones together under one roof in the lovely, joyful, exciting occasion that is a wedding once in my life.
To me, all of that is worth spending the time and money on.