Here it is, Halloween already. I've always really enjoyed the holiday - what's not to like about dressing up and getting free candy?
We were encouraged to wear a costume to work today; we're having a party (complete with booze - on campus - I feel like I work for David Brent at the Wernham Hogg paper company in Slough) today in about an hour. My boss asked me a few days ago if I was going to dress up; she thought I might be religiously against Halloween.
I am not religiously against Halloween. I'm not a huge fan of dressing up like a ghost or witch or anything overtly evil (although I did go to a party once as Britney Spears in her Catholic schoolgirl outfit, which was pretty skanky of me), but I don't see anything wrong with costumes and candy and goofy decorations like fake spider webs and people getting together to have a good time and build memories. Plus it's all part of the whole fall experience.
Since I didn't have much time to put together a costume, I came as a person from a cold-medicine ad. I'm in my PJs with tussled hair and a blanket around my shoulders, and I used makeup to darken the circles under my eyes and make my nose red. Not terribly creative, but comfortable at least. And I only had to spend about 10 minutes getting ready for work this morning.
I've done better other years. In high school I went once as Cruella Deville, with a leopard-print coat and my hair painted black on one side and white on the other. I've gone as the tooth fairy, Rapunzel, and an '80s valley girl, and a couple years ago, Philip and I appeared at a party I threw as Napoleon Dynamite and Deb.
The Deb costume was pretty good, but apart from Napoleon, not terribly obvious. Unlike Philip (in his "Vote for Pedro" T-shirt and curly wig) whose costume was unmistakable solo, mine needed a little explanation. I did get some amusing guesses as to my identity. Clad in tennis shoes with slouch socks, a side ponytail, and a rad fannypack, guests at the party wondered if I was a tourist, or even funnier, if I was dressed as the host of a Christian party. Best of all, my mother-in-law didn't think I had worn a costume.
Around here, people have been pretty creative. I've seen a '50s drive-up waitress on roller skates, a mullet-clad redneck, an enthusiastic Steve Irwin, and a Man in Black - complete with guitar - among others. We'll see what other unique costumes people are sporting here in a few.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
INVISIBLE CHILDREN
Over the weekend I saw the Invisible Children documentary, which primarily chronicles rural children in Northern Uganda who commute to the cities at night to sleep in crowded, dirty shelters, for fear of being abducted by the rebel army and forced to fight and kill in a war they are too young to understand.
I’d heard of the Invisible Children organization, but had been skeptical of it, since popular young adult church groups had begun to crusade for it, and it seemed to be the trendy new cause to triumph.
Having worked for a magazine whose aim was to find stylish causes and pretend to be involved in and passionate about them, I’m pretty much over it. I’m over getting hyped up about some new mission that’s drawing attention because hot T-shirts are being designed for it and up-and-coming bands are doing benefits for it and all the cool kids are plugged in.
But what happened was that my friend David caught the vision, and it wasn’t because it was marketed well. David’s heart has just been getting broken lately by the things that break the heart of God, and when he saw these children living in such filth and fear, he wanted to do something about it. So he planned to host a screening of the documentary.
(Now, I can’t let David totally off the hook, because the impetus for his rekindled compassion was a speech given by Bono, who everyone knows is the poster child for all things cool and charitable. But I know David’s heart is sincere, so I forgive him.)
So in support of David, I went to the screening. I began to embrace this organization because I knew that since David saw something real in its mission, it must mean that it’s not all about being in the right club, so I could be associated with the right people while still making a difference as an added bonus. David believed that it truly was about helping these children, and that was something I could get behind.
The documentary is sobering, to say the least. It’s well done, and not pretentious. I doubt anyone could watch it and not want to show their support, somehow, some way.
Injustice is a hard thing for us Americans. It’s hard for me. I feel bad, I want to help, but … well, what can I do? How can I stop a war that’s been raging for almost two decades? And, well, I’m pretty busy with work and church and my friends and trying to find time to be with my husband and trying to find time for myself … And really, I just can’t relate. I’m safe in my own bed every night; all my needs are met; nobody’s dragging my sisters away to rape them and enslave them and force them to become murderers.
At the end of the film, the narrator encouraged viewers to volunteer their time, talent, and money to help provide education, protection, and rehabilitation for these oppressed children. Philip and I donated a little money (sort of … in return, we got dinner, a bracelet, and a DVD, so I don’t know if that counts as a donation … yeah, no, it doesn’t), and now I’m using my writing “talent” to get the word out.
My primary audience is those who sincerely want to help, who want to “maintain justice and do what is right,” but who, like me, are not interested in being one of the cool kids.
I’m not looking for a cause to live for. I’m not hunting for some overarching life mission to give me purpose and belonging and identity. I’m not going to remedy the AIDS crisis or end world hunger. I’m not even going to convert the world to Christianity.
I’m going to invest in relationships; I’m going to pursue knowing God; I’m going to do my work to the best of my ability; I’m going to use my talents for the greater good; I’m going to spend time doing things I enjoy; I’m going to help out where I can.
So here is where I’m helping out with Invisible Children today. I’m letting you know about the problem; you can learn more about it by watching a compelling movie. I can get a hold of it for you; you just have to ask. You can also visit www.invisiblechildren.com. David’s next endeavor is to organize participation in a related fundraiser called Gulu Walk Day (www.guluwalk.com), which takes place October 21. So I’ll participate in that, too, and invite others to as well.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
MOTOWN
Philip and I spent Labor Day weekend in Detroit, where Philip was born and spent many summers visiting his grandparents. His good friend Mike, whose grandma is close friends with Philip’s grandma, grew up there and is living at home again to help revitalize the family business. Philip’s friend Ben also just moved there to finish up his schooling for psychology, so we went to visit the two of them and to meet Mike’s girlfriend, Jill. Jill is an amazing, friendly, fun girl with whom I instantly connected.
After arriving on Friday night, the four of us went out to an Irish pub and enjoyed dinner and a live Irish folk band. Philip was in his element as we ate; the baseball game was playing on the big screen, and every other person in the place had a Tigers cap on.
On Saturday we went to a University of Michigan football game in the gorgeous, partly cloudy, 70-something-degree weather, no humidity. The game was a blast – I’ve never seen so much school spirit in my life. The announcer came over the loudspeaker to let the giant assembly know that we were the biggest crowd gathered to watch football anywhere in the country that day.
The most incredible moment of the day came when the student section in the stands initiated The Wave. Never has The Wave been carried out with such enthusiasm and precision. I don’t think there was a single person in the stadium who didn’t participate. First a standard Wave was executed; then a slow-motion one, followed by a super-fast one. To top it all off, a double Wave rose in both directions, colliding in the middle and continuing on to collide once more at its origin. It was basically awesome. After the game, Mike’s parents took us out to a delicious Italian meal.
On Sunday we went to church, then picked up some Jimmy John’s subs (yum) to take to the park for a picnic, followed by my first-ever game of disc golf. Ben is pretty much a pro, and the rest of us did our best to not throw our discs straight into trees. It was another beautiful day; we played all 18 holes. We finished out the evening talking and eating by a backyard bonfire at the house of one of Mike’s friends.
Labor Day morning found us out to a tasty breakfast. Then we went on a sort of a treasure hunt for the gravesite of Philip’s grandpa, who passed away a year ago, a mere 12 days before our wedding. After some searching, we located his headstone, and Philip and I spent some quiet moments reflecting on what a compassionate man Grandpa Don was.
From there, all of us headed out to Belle Isle to explore a once-thriving weekend destination that could now use some substantial rehabilitation. Philip’s grandpa had taken him there many weekends; the elaborate Scott Fountain there is still jaw-dropping – like something straight out of downtown London.
Our stay ended with Mike’s parents preparing a tasty barbeque for us out in the backyard – what hospitality. We were treated like family, our bellies stuffed beyond capacity as we headed to the airport, not quite ready to head back home.
After arriving on Friday night, the four of us went out to an Irish pub and enjoyed dinner and a live Irish folk band. Philip was in his element as we ate; the baseball game was playing on the big screen, and every other person in the place had a Tigers cap on.
On Saturday we went to a University of Michigan football game in the gorgeous, partly cloudy, 70-something-degree weather, no humidity. The game was a blast – I’ve never seen so much school spirit in my life. The announcer came over the loudspeaker to let the giant assembly know that we were the biggest crowd gathered to watch football anywhere in the country that day.
The most incredible moment of the day came when the student section in the stands initiated The Wave. Never has The Wave been carried out with such enthusiasm and precision. I don’t think there was a single person in the stadium who didn’t participate. First a standard Wave was executed; then a slow-motion one, followed by a super-fast one. To top it all off, a double Wave rose in both directions, colliding in the middle and continuing on to collide once more at its origin. It was basically awesome. After the game, Mike’s parents took us out to a delicious Italian meal.
On Sunday we went to church, then picked up some Jimmy John’s subs (yum) to take to the park for a picnic, followed by my first-ever game of disc golf. Ben is pretty much a pro, and the rest of us did our best to not throw our discs straight into trees. It was another beautiful day; we played all 18 holes. We finished out the evening talking and eating by a backyard bonfire at the house of one of Mike’s friends.
Labor Day morning found us out to a tasty breakfast. Then we went on a sort of a treasure hunt for the gravesite of Philip’s grandpa, who passed away a year ago, a mere 12 days before our wedding. After some searching, we located his headstone, and Philip and I spent some quiet moments reflecting on what a compassionate man Grandpa Don was.
From there, all of us headed out to Belle Isle to explore a once-thriving weekend destination that could now use some substantial rehabilitation. Philip’s grandpa had taken him there many weekends; the elaborate Scott Fountain there is still jaw-dropping – like something straight out of downtown London.
Our stay ended with Mike’s parents preparing a tasty barbeque for us out in the backyard – what hospitality. We were treated like family, our bellies stuffed beyond capacity as we headed to the airport, not quite ready to head back home.
Friday, September 01, 2006
NEW JOB, NEW YEAR OF MARRIAGE
Hi friends. It’s been a while. I haven’t felt terribly inspired lately, though a few pieces of news are long overdue.
Firstly, I started a new job. I’ve left the freelance world to once again join the ranks of full-time office employment. My new employer is World Publications, which publishes 20 or so magazines primarily out of Winter Park. My title is “copy editor,” which is a fairly one-dimensional position. My assignment is simply to copy edit files (check for grammar, style, accuracy, etc.) that come across my desk. Once I’ve copy edited all the files that have been sent to me, my work is complete, and I just have to sit and wait for the next thing to come.
Copy editing is what I’ve been doing from home for the last year and a half, and it was also a big part of my job while I was working at Relevant, so I’ve gotten pretty stinkin’ good at it. I’m pretty content to do it, too, though sometimes I long for a more multifaceted job that would utilize more of my skills, such as organization, communication, brainstorming ideas, and writing.
This place is very laid-back; I’m not micromanaged; and I’m not overloaded with a stressful and unrealistic amount of work. Pretty much all of my cubicle neighbors are sport fishermen; two of the magazines I work on are Sport Fishing and Marlin. I also copy edit Destination Weddings & Honeymoons and Florida Travel & Life.
I do miss the freedom of freelancing, but you really can’t beat a steady paycheck, and it’s nice to be back in the professional world. I guess I feel more legit, even though I had a pretty decent business going at home. I enjoy being around people again, too.
Shortly after starting at World Pub, Philip and I celebrated one year of marriage. We spent a week in Clearwater Beach, and the pictures are up on our Flickr page. We had a great time exploring state park beaches, reading, snorkeling with our new gear (yay!), and finding as many wild creatures as possible. I really can’t think of anything I enjoy more than traveling, especially with my husband … adventure and relaxation and escape from daily drama and responsibility – it’s the absolute best.
Tonight we leave for Detroit to visit Philip’s friends Mike and Ben. Philip told me this is what he wanted for his birthday. I’m really excited to leave the state for a few days and bask in the love and hospitality of good friends. Dianna comes to visit us in a couple weeks; I’m so glad – she’s one of my favorite people in the world.
Other than that, it’s basically just daily life. We do a lot of stuff with our church; we listen to NPR in the morning; we share meals with friends; we watch movies that come in the mail through Netflix (the greatest service ever invented). We navigate family issues and insecurities and tiredness. We think about the future. I try to find time to scrapbook; Philip gets online to check on his Fantasy Football team. We go to weddings and birthday get-togethers and going-away parties; we grocery shop and do laundry and drink dollar margaritas at Amigo’s. And in my mind I’m always analyzing all of it, feeling very much content and longing for so much more at the same time.
Firstly, I started a new job. I’ve left the freelance world to once again join the ranks of full-time office employment. My new employer is World Publications, which publishes 20 or so magazines primarily out of Winter Park. My title is “copy editor,” which is a fairly one-dimensional position. My assignment is simply to copy edit files (check for grammar, style, accuracy, etc.) that come across my desk. Once I’ve copy edited all the files that have been sent to me, my work is complete, and I just have to sit and wait for the next thing to come.
Copy editing is what I’ve been doing from home for the last year and a half, and it was also a big part of my job while I was working at Relevant, so I’ve gotten pretty stinkin’ good at it. I’m pretty content to do it, too, though sometimes I long for a more multifaceted job that would utilize more of my skills, such as organization, communication, brainstorming ideas, and writing.
This place is very laid-back; I’m not micromanaged; and I’m not overloaded with a stressful and unrealistic amount of work. Pretty much all of my cubicle neighbors are sport fishermen; two of the magazines I work on are Sport Fishing and Marlin. I also copy edit Destination Weddings & Honeymoons and Florida Travel & Life.
I do miss the freedom of freelancing, but you really can’t beat a steady paycheck, and it’s nice to be back in the professional world. I guess I feel more legit, even though I had a pretty decent business going at home. I enjoy being around people again, too.
Shortly after starting at World Pub, Philip and I celebrated one year of marriage. We spent a week in Clearwater Beach, and the pictures are up on our Flickr page. We had a great time exploring state park beaches, reading, snorkeling with our new gear (yay!), and finding as many wild creatures as possible. I really can’t think of anything I enjoy more than traveling, especially with my husband … adventure and relaxation and escape from daily drama and responsibility – it’s the absolute best.
Tonight we leave for Detroit to visit Philip’s friends Mike and Ben. Philip told me this is what he wanted for his birthday. I’m really excited to leave the state for a few days and bask in the love and hospitality of good friends. Dianna comes to visit us in a couple weeks; I’m so glad – she’s one of my favorite people in the world.
Other than that, it’s basically just daily life. We do a lot of stuff with our church; we listen to NPR in the morning; we share meals with friends; we watch movies that come in the mail through Netflix (the greatest service ever invented). We navigate family issues and insecurities and tiredness. We think about the future. I try to find time to scrapbook; Philip gets online to check on his Fantasy Football team. We go to weddings and birthday get-togethers and going-away parties; we grocery shop and do laundry and drink dollar margaritas at Amigo’s. And in my mind I’m always analyzing all of it, feeling very much content and longing for so much more at the same time.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
NEW PICS UP
After almost a year, I've finally posted our wedding pictures online. Going through them today has made me very nostalgic about our wedding day; it was so indescribably beautiful and fun.
I also posted some pics from some other recent events (my sister's high school graduation, Robert and Kari Vargas' wedding, etc.).
Enjoy!
I also posted some pics from some other recent events (my sister's high school graduation, Robert and Kari Vargas' wedding, etc.).
Enjoy!
Friday, May 19, 2006
BUSH ON BUSH
As most of you know, I'm not fan of 'ol G.W. His actions and arrogance, in my opinion, has put the US in some really bad situations. Recently when he speaks, I tune him out due to past experiences (the last six years).
A friend of mine had recommended that I watch Steven Colbert's roast of Bush at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. Colbert's direct and crass rant was hyped all over the internet, so I finally decided to give it a watch. You can see it here. It's fairly long (~24 minutes).
What was NOT hyped by my friend or the internet was Bush's self-deprecating, self-impersonation bit that he did with a Bush look-a-like (what a plight for that guy!) at the dinner. I've watched Bush's State of the Union speeches almost every year. During his campaigns, I've leant him my ear to see what he had to say. When there is a major national push (ex: medicare campaign), I've tuned in. I don't like the guy, but he is our president and I want to see what path he's taking us on. Regardless of the past speeches, THE DINNER SPEECH WAS AMAZING. It was great to see him have fun with his faults and stereotypes. In some round about way, it was almost as if he was admitting to faults and as we all know, he doesn't do that (one of my HUGE problems with the guy). So, if you are in the same camp as me, go and watch this ~11 minutes clip and appreciate our president for once.
A friend of mine had recommended that I watch Steven Colbert's roast of Bush at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. Colbert's direct and crass rant was hyped all over the internet, so I finally decided to give it a watch. You can see it here. It's fairly long (~24 minutes).
What was NOT hyped by my friend or the internet was Bush's self-deprecating, self-impersonation bit that he did with a Bush look-a-like (what a plight for that guy!) at the dinner. I've watched Bush's State of the Union speeches almost every year. During his campaigns, I've leant him my ear to see what he had to say. When there is a major national push (ex: medicare campaign), I've tuned in. I don't like the guy, but he is our president and I want to see what path he's taking us on. Regardless of the past speeches, THE DINNER SPEECH WAS AMAZING. It was great to see him have fun with his faults and stereotypes. In some round about way, it was almost as if he was admitting to faults and as we all know, he doesn't do that (one of my HUGE problems with the guy). So, if you are in the same camp as me, go and watch this ~11 minutes clip and appreciate our president for once.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
OH YEAH.
Holy monkey... we're back! Fully! After having a bout with our hosting services, everything is back up and running. Now if I could just find some time to do a new layout so that we could increase content...
There may be no new layout, but there are new pictures! Cruise over to our photo page and take a peek.
There may be no new layout, but there are new pictures! Cruise over to our photo page and take a peek.
Monday, May 01, 2006
SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW
Last week was, among other things, a blast from the past. We got to see my good friend Tammy, who lives in Chicago, on Monday, which, as I told her, was a reminder of the joy and value of mentors. It's been quite a while since a mentor has invested in me on a regular basis, and I miss having that kind of a relationship with someone who's older, wiser, imperfect, yet growing and honest. On the other hand, it's been even longer since I've served in that role, and I've never felt that it's gone well. I always managed to screw things up by being racked with insecurity and on top of that, making immature decisions that had to have made those I was supposedly mentoring wonder if they didn't actually have things more figured out than I did. I'm fearful to try on that role again, but I know it's important that I do.
On Tuesday we had lunch with a friend of Philip's named Richard, who Philip went to college with in Tennessee, and his wife, Shelly. They live near DC now. The two of them are way into scuba diving, the idea of which is something that terrifies the sh** out of me. Shelly expressed that it was something that really scared her as well, but she overcame her fear in order to share in something that her husband was really passionate about. Shelly inspired me (though not necessarily to get scuba certified).
On Wednesday we saw my friend Thomas, who is a member of the Indiana-based band, The Elms. The Elms became fairly popular as a Christian band, but are now basically starting over at square one to pursue a career as a mainstream band - something they feel is more suited both to their musical style and their spiritual purpose. They were opening for Shooter Jennings, the son of country music legend Waylon Jennings, at The Social. The crowd was rough, to say the least. Philip and I observed a large man wearing a T-shirt that said, "Put the 'O' back in "CUNTRY." Audience members called out lewd things and drank lots of cheap beer, and it made me proud of Thomas and The Elms to immerse themselves into a crowd like that, which would intimidate a lot of Christians.
This week also marked a major change in our young adult group at church: We are now setting up an information table. I know - not too earth-shaking or ingenious; all it took was a little initiative, but I hope it will help draw in some of the people who are hesitating to actually meet or get to know anyone new in our group. I really long to see people finding life-giving community within the context of a loving church, and so many people, especially those who I see in the 18-30 age group, just kind of hover on the periphery for whatever reason(s). So maybe this table can be the beginning of something, at least within the Hospital Church.
Lastly, Philip's brother got married on Sunday. I was really proud of my husband for being the Greatest Brother in the Entire World this weekend. Despite often strained relations with Luke, Philip stepped up to offer a helping hand when some of the other groomsmen flaked, thought of small details like bringing Luke a handkerchief, and intently paid attention to every event of the ceremony and reception. Hopefully this can mark a new direction for Philip and Luke in their relationship.
Aside from that, I would just like to mention that although Philip and I refused to allow songs such as "The Electric Slide," "YMCA," and "The Chicken Dance" at our wedding reception, I am not too cool to dance to them at the wedding receptions of others. "It's electric!"
On Tuesday we had lunch with a friend of Philip's named Richard, who Philip went to college with in Tennessee, and his wife, Shelly. They live near DC now. The two of them are way into scuba diving, the idea of which is something that terrifies the sh** out of me. Shelly expressed that it was something that really scared her as well, but she overcame her fear in order to share in something that her husband was really passionate about. Shelly inspired me (though not necessarily to get scuba certified).
On Wednesday we saw my friend Thomas, who is a member of the Indiana-based band, The Elms. The Elms became fairly popular as a Christian band, but are now basically starting over at square one to pursue a career as a mainstream band - something they feel is more suited both to their musical style and their spiritual purpose. They were opening for Shooter Jennings, the son of country music legend Waylon Jennings, at The Social. The crowd was rough, to say the least. Philip and I observed a large man wearing a T-shirt that said, "Put the 'O' back in "CUNTRY." Audience members called out lewd things and drank lots of cheap beer, and it made me proud of Thomas and The Elms to immerse themselves into a crowd like that, which would intimidate a lot of Christians.
This week also marked a major change in our young adult group at church: We are now setting up an information table. I know - not too earth-shaking or ingenious; all it took was a little initiative, but I hope it will help draw in some of the people who are hesitating to actually meet or get to know anyone new in our group. I really long to see people finding life-giving community within the context of a loving church, and so many people, especially those who I see in the 18-30 age group, just kind of hover on the periphery for whatever reason(s). So maybe this table can be the beginning of something, at least within the Hospital Church.
Lastly, Philip's brother got married on Sunday. I was really proud of my husband for being the Greatest Brother in the Entire World this weekend. Despite often strained relations with Luke, Philip stepped up to offer a helping hand when some of the other groomsmen flaked, thought of small details like bringing Luke a handkerchief, and intently paid attention to every event of the ceremony and reception. Hopefully this can mark a new direction for Philip and Luke in their relationship.
Aside from that, I would just like to mention that although Philip and I refused to allow songs such as "The Electric Slide," "YMCA," and "The Chicken Dance" at our wedding reception, I am not too cool to dance to them at the wedding receptions of others. "It's electric!"
Monday, April 17, 2006
Thursday, April 13, 2006
CRUSH ON FLORIDA
I have a crush on Florida right now. I'm infatuated with the weather, the vegetation, the beach, our sweet downtown neighborhood, even the theme parks. I love that I can take advantage of the outdoors almost year-round (I enjoyed a lovely picnic lunch with Amy and Ana today at Lake Eola) and that spring/summer fever has already hit people here (contrast this with Illinois in late March, where everything was still gray and dead, and everyone was literally weary and depressed from five long months of winter).
Evidence: I called Orlando "home" for the first time when I was in Rockford last month. I find myself wanting to spend our one-year anniversary at some Florida destination. I daydream about buying a house here, raising children here...
This isn't exactly new. When I was a child, we always vacationed in Florida, so it seemed like some sort of tropical wonderland. When we did our state projects in sixth grade, I won my first choice of the Sunshine State and put together an entire binder of Florida facts, from precipitation to population to elevation (Florida is flat).
But at some point after moving here, I began hating Florida. Maybe it was the lack of friends. The squelching humid summers. The defeating job. The churchlessness. The absence of fall leaves and snow. Living in a suburban cookie-cutter-house wasteland... I wanted to get out of here.
Things have obviously changed since then. I have people I'm close to (one special one in particular), a church home, a satisfying career. I live in a quaint historic neighborhood. The summers are still unbearable and the seasons still don't change, but I'm not thinking about that now in the midst of a gorgeous spring.
I do want to stay open to thinking that this may not be where we settle, however. When I see photographs of majestic mountains, of watercolor autumns, of fresh snowfalls, I'm reminded of the fact that there are other types of beauty in this world in which we could dwell. When Philip talks about job opportunities in England, I feel a little thrill at the thought of living for a time in a different culture. I think I could get used to wearing fleeces and sweaters and scarves again. And if I ever do seriously decide to consider studying writing at the graduate level, we'd have to move, no way around it.
I guess I'm just thankful for the contentment I feel here at the moment, and at the same time, I want to be flexible and willing enough to take other future possibilities into consideration. I want to enjoy Florida, but not get too comfortable here, if God has other ideas for us...
Some natural Florida beauty for you...
Disney on Thanksgiving weekend, 2004
Caladesi Island State Park, the day Philip proposed (December 18, 2004)
Kayak trail through the mangroves at Caladesi
Sunset at Sattelite Beach, December 2004
With Sarah at Sattelite Beach, December 2004
Honeymoon Island State Park, May 2005
Lake Eola, downtown Orlando
In my old neighborhood in Oviedo
Florida vegetation in Oviedo
Lake Eustis at our Florida reception, September 2005
With David and Amy at Rock Springs, fall 2005
Manatees at Blue Spring, winter 2005
At Busch Gardens, March 2006
Evidence: I called Orlando "home" for the first time when I was in Rockford last month. I find myself wanting to spend our one-year anniversary at some Florida destination. I daydream about buying a house here, raising children here...
This isn't exactly new. When I was a child, we always vacationed in Florida, so it seemed like some sort of tropical wonderland. When we did our state projects in sixth grade, I won my first choice of the Sunshine State and put together an entire binder of Florida facts, from precipitation to population to elevation (Florida is flat).
But at some point after moving here, I began hating Florida. Maybe it was the lack of friends. The squelching humid summers. The defeating job. The churchlessness. The absence of fall leaves and snow. Living in a suburban cookie-cutter-house wasteland... I wanted to get out of here.
Things have obviously changed since then. I have people I'm close to (one special one in particular), a church home, a satisfying career. I live in a quaint historic neighborhood. The summers are still unbearable and the seasons still don't change, but I'm not thinking about that now in the midst of a gorgeous spring.
I do want to stay open to thinking that this may not be where we settle, however. When I see photographs of majestic mountains, of watercolor autumns, of fresh snowfalls, I'm reminded of the fact that there are other types of beauty in this world in which we could dwell. When Philip talks about job opportunities in England, I feel a little thrill at the thought of living for a time in a different culture. I think I could get used to wearing fleeces and sweaters and scarves again. And if I ever do seriously decide to consider studying writing at the graduate level, we'd have to move, no way around it.
I guess I'm just thankful for the contentment I feel here at the moment, and at the same time, I want to be flexible and willing enough to take other future possibilities into consideration. I want to enjoy Florida, but not get too comfortable here, if God has other ideas for us...
Some natural Florida beauty for you...
Disney on Thanksgiving weekend, 2004
Caladesi Island State Park, the day Philip proposed (December 18, 2004)
Kayak trail through the mangroves at Caladesi
Sunset at Sattelite Beach, December 2004
With Sarah at Sattelite Beach, December 2004
Honeymoon Island State Park, May 2005
Lake Eola, downtown Orlando
In my old neighborhood in Oviedo
Florida vegetation in Oviedo
Lake Eustis at our Florida reception, September 2005
With David and Amy at Rock Springs, fall 2005
Manatees at Blue Spring, winter 2005
At Busch Gardens, March 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
GOODBYE, 25
For anyone who's curious, my birthday surprise from Philip was to spend two days at Busch Gardens in Tampa. Philip and I had just a smashing time riding roller coasters and looking at all the animals. We had beautiful weather, and also enjoyed a night's stay at a nice Marriott and a tasty Italian dinner at Carrabba's, which I'd never been to before. You can check out pictures here.
On my birthday, I was made to feel special by many people who sent me cards, gave me gifts, left me MySpace messages, called me, and stopped by to wish me a happy birthday. Thank you to all of you. Thank you to my family who always calls and sings "Happy Birthday" over the phone, a tradition started long ago by my Grandma Helen, who continues it today. Thank you to Karen and Susan for baking me a cake. Thank you to Ashley at Barnes & Noble who bought fancy Godiva chocolate Easter eggs from the store for me, since I had to work on my birthday. Thank you to the Achatas, who took me out to dinner. And thank you to Philip for the beautiful three-part birthday week!
One birthday card I received encouraged me to reflect on the past year, so I thought I would briefly do that. Since I met Philip, we have not had a dull moment; so much has happened since that May in 2003. So in keeping with our tendency toward undergoing an abundance of major life events, here are some of the things we've experienced since March 8, 2005:
+ We witnessed the marriages of four couples: Jen & Jeremy, Martin & Justine, Khlarisse & Albert, and Ian & Melissa.
+ We experienced the loss of Philip's Grandpa Don and traveled to his memorial service in Detroit days before our wedding.
+ I worked for a time as the out-of-house copyeditor for an African-American publication called Soul Mag.
+ We got married.
+ I moved to downtown Orlando to live with my husband.
+ We traveled to the U.S. Virgin Island of St. John for our honeymoon.
+ We came home to discover our kitchen covered entirely in tin foil.
+ I said a sad goodbye to my roommate and close friend Chelsea Folmsbee, who moved back to Virginia with her husband, who returned safely from a difficult year of military service in Afghanistan.
+ We saw Sufjan Stevens play in Athens, Georgia.
+ We traveled to North Carolina to attend the memorial service for my good friend Amy Achata's dad.
+ Philip took me to see the campus of his first college in Tennessee.
+ I began doing freelance editing work for two publishing houses in addition to Youth Specialties: Multnomah and NavPress.
+ We bought our first dining room table.
+ I got a part-time job working for Barnes & Noble.
+ We spent our first Christmas in a hospital room, visiting my Grandpa Dick, who had cancer.
+ We experienced the loss of my grandpa, four days after he prayed to ask Christ to "take his soul."
+ We traveled to England.
How have I grown through it all? It's hard to say. I guess I've learned that things don't just happen; you have to work for them. That life is precious. That traveling makes me feel alive. That family and friends mean everything. That I'm much fonder of downtown Orlando than East Orlando or Oviedo. That marriage is the greatest gift. That God is able to do anything and is incredibly faithful and present and near...
Friday, March 03, 2006
AH, SWEET CONTENTMENT, I LOVE YOU.
It's 75 degrees and sunny in Florida today, low humidity, breeze coming in through the windows and the ceiling fans swirling lazily. I'm feeling good because it's Friday, which means I have two solid days with my husband coming up. This weekend is even better because he is taking me away for one night for a birthday surprise! I have tried to figure out what we're doing but am out of guesses, and I'm so excited I could burst.
I've been feeling hugely blessed lately. A couple goals that I had set seem to be materializing: We have finally reached a point where our apartment is almost 100 percent unpacked; and I feel like I'm falling into good sync with work. I am down to working one or two days a week at Barnes & Noble, which seems to leave me just the right amount of time to tackle my editing and writing at home on the other days.
It struck me the other day that freelance copyediting is an awesome job - I get paid good money to sit and read interesting books. (This should have seemed obvious, but it has taken me a while to feel this way.) I finally seem to be striking the right balance between teamwork at Barnes and better pay/use of my skill set/freedom at my "home office." First I was getting bored and lonely at home, and then I was being overwhelmed with too many hours at Barnes; but now it's seems to be just right (kind of like Goldielocks and the three bears, come to think of it). This is such a huge relief, because I was beginning to wonder if I was one of those people who could never be happy no matter what.
So it feels wonderful to be enjoying work and marriage and spring in Florida.
I also realize, though, that many people in my life, both family and friends, are going through rough times - marriage problems, unexpected pregnancies, broken friendships, career fears, and so on - and I want to be available for them, not getting so wrapped up in my contentment that I neglect to take care of people who need taking care of. Now that I seem to have reached a place of balance and order in life, I want my marriage, home, and self to be a haven and a pillar of support for those who I know to take refuge in and lean on. And I also want to find more ways to take all the good things I've been given and pass them on to people who aren't enjoying so many good things.
(*Note: This weekend, however, I will be thoroughly preoccupied with my own recreational pursuit with my husband and will be entirely unavailable for anyone's spiritual or emotional needs.)
I've been feeling hugely blessed lately. A couple goals that I had set seem to be materializing: We have finally reached a point where our apartment is almost 100 percent unpacked; and I feel like I'm falling into good sync with work. I am down to working one or two days a week at Barnes & Noble, which seems to leave me just the right amount of time to tackle my editing and writing at home on the other days.
It struck me the other day that freelance copyediting is an awesome job - I get paid good money to sit and read interesting books. (This should have seemed obvious, but it has taken me a while to feel this way.) I finally seem to be striking the right balance between teamwork at Barnes and better pay/use of my skill set/freedom at my "home office." First I was getting bored and lonely at home, and then I was being overwhelmed with too many hours at Barnes; but now it's seems to be just right (kind of like Goldielocks and the three bears, come to think of it). This is such a huge relief, because I was beginning to wonder if I was one of those people who could never be happy no matter what.
So it feels wonderful to be enjoying work and marriage and spring in Florida.
I also realize, though, that many people in my life, both family and friends, are going through rough times - marriage problems, unexpected pregnancies, broken friendships, career fears, and so on - and I want to be available for them, not getting so wrapped up in my contentment that I neglect to take care of people who need taking care of. Now that I seem to have reached a place of balance and order in life, I want my marriage, home, and self to be a haven and a pillar of support for those who I know to take refuge in and lean on. And I also want to find more ways to take all the good things I've been given and pass them on to people who aren't enjoying so many good things.
(*Note: This weekend, however, I will be thoroughly preoccupied with my own recreational pursuit with my husband and will be entirely unavailable for anyone's spiritual or emotional needs.)
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
REVENGE OF THE NERD
Out of curiousity, I visited the website of my old job today. It has been well over a year since I moved on from there, but I confess, after looking around at what's new, I lapsed into a fantasy that I had written a book that was getting a ton of buzz. I imagined that my old boss was at first reluctant to cover it in his magazine since I was an ex-employee, but eventually had to cave because my book had become so big. There I would be in the magazine I wasn't fit to be the managing editor of, my face filling a whole page. My success would make my old boss feel crazy with regret, that he didn't try harder to make me feel valued and adequate.
I don't like that I have fantasies like this. It indicates that in my heart are some leftover feelings of bitterness. If I was over it, it doesn't seem like I would have any "so there!" kind of sentiments. Now that so much time has passed, the specific grievances I experienced at that job have begun to significantly fade in my memory. I guess what's left is still this wound that hasn't fully healed, this lingering feeling of not being good enough.
Feelings are a tough thing to deal with. You can't just will them to go away. I have tried to control my actions with regard to my old job by not bad-mouthing it all the time and discouraging people from reading any of its publications. I haven't defaced any of the magazine issues that still arrive at our apartment from an ancient two-year subscription; in fact, I've read several articles. I even considered buying a book post-resignation.
But feelings are another thing altogether. Thankfully, I believe God has the capability of changing hearts and thought processes. I saw this the other day when I had the opportunity to sing in church. It used to be that when I sang, I felt very disappointed and insecure if people didn't come up to me afterward and tell me how well I did, even though supposedly my "audience" was made up of God alone. After I sang this past weekened, I found that I was actually surprised when someone congratulated me for doing a good job. I hadn't even thought about seeking that kind of approval. So over time, God has begun to right that wrong attitude in me. I pray that he is doing the same with regard to my career.
I don't like that I have fantasies like this. It indicates that in my heart are some leftover feelings of bitterness. If I was over it, it doesn't seem like I would have any "so there!" kind of sentiments. Now that so much time has passed, the specific grievances I experienced at that job have begun to significantly fade in my memory. I guess what's left is still this wound that hasn't fully healed, this lingering feeling of not being good enough.
Feelings are a tough thing to deal with. You can't just will them to go away. I have tried to control my actions with regard to my old job by not bad-mouthing it all the time and discouraging people from reading any of its publications. I haven't defaced any of the magazine issues that still arrive at our apartment from an ancient two-year subscription; in fact, I've read several articles. I even considered buying a book post-resignation.
But feelings are another thing altogether. Thankfully, I believe God has the capability of changing hearts and thought processes. I saw this the other day when I had the opportunity to sing in church. It used to be that when I sang, I felt very disappointed and insecure if people didn't come up to me afterward and tell me how well I did, even though supposedly my "audience" was made up of God alone. After I sang this past weekened, I found that I was actually surprised when someone congratulated me for doing a good job. I hadn't even thought about seeking that kind of approval. So over time, God has begun to right that wrong attitude in me. I pray that he is doing the same with regard to my career.
Friday, February 24, 2006
DYING TO SELF?
I just finished reading Searching for God Knows What by Don Miller tonight. I feel like I shouldn't pick up a new book now, but read Searching again, because I probably missed half of what he said. And I was finding that every time I went back to reading after leaving the pages for a couple days (or hours), I would have this thought: "Oh yeah, these are really profound ideas that, if I could remember and apply them in my day-to-day living and thinking, would really make a difference. But I forget them as soon as I put down the book. What is wrong with me?"
If I had to summarize what I "got out of*" the book (*this phrase is one of the more obnoxious phrases Christians use), it would be that when I set out on this relational journey with Jesus, I died to myself and began to live in him. Obviously, I haven't died to me, and in fact, I much more often feel like I'm living my ways than his. But, in one of the paradoxes that Jesus seems to like so much, I both have died to me and yet am still in the process of dying. This may sound masochistic, which is a word Miller uses in the book, but maybe it will make more sense when I explain more specifically what it is I am aiming toward dying from:
I want to die from worrying all the time about how I am being received...
from guarding myself so carefully that I miss out on intimacy with people...
from allowing my insecurities to stop me completely from doing things that I love and could help others...
from responding with such quick irritation or/and anger when I am slightly inconvenienced or wounded...
from classifying people so easily into categories of "cool" and "weird" (craving the attention of the former and dismissing the latter)...
from being too lazy to let people know I care about them...
from saying my life is about love, when it is really only about me being comfortable...
Perhaps when Jesus says we die to ourselves, it's not so much about letting go of the things we love (though sometimes that kind of sacrifice is asked of us), but about letting go of the things that smother our souls, in order to make room for the good things of Jesus, like an affection for others, a boldness to love, a freedom and boldness to use our gifts and talents to bless the people around us, and a sense of complete and overflowing acceptance and belonging and validation coming straight from the greatest Lover in all the universe.
Basically, all these ideas are in the book. I wanted to put them down before I forgot them all. Again.
If I had to summarize what I "got out of*" the book (*this phrase is one of the more obnoxious phrases Christians use), it would be that when I set out on this relational journey with Jesus, I died to myself and began to live in him. Obviously, I haven't died to me, and in fact, I much more often feel like I'm living my ways than his. But, in one of the paradoxes that Jesus seems to like so much, I both have died to me and yet am still in the process of dying. This may sound masochistic, which is a word Miller uses in the book, but maybe it will make more sense when I explain more specifically what it is I am aiming toward dying from:
I want to die from worrying all the time about how I am being received...
from guarding myself so carefully that I miss out on intimacy with people...
from allowing my insecurities to stop me completely from doing things that I love and could help others...
from responding with such quick irritation or/and anger when I am slightly inconvenienced or wounded...
from classifying people so easily into categories of "cool" and "weird" (craving the attention of the former and dismissing the latter)...
from being too lazy to let people know I care about them...
from saying my life is about love, when it is really only about me being comfortable...
Perhaps when Jesus says we die to ourselves, it's not so much about letting go of the things we love (though sometimes that kind of sacrifice is asked of us), but about letting go of the things that smother our souls, in order to make room for the good things of Jesus, like an affection for others, a boldness to love, a freedom and boldness to use our gifts and talents to bless the people around us, and a sense of complete and overflowing acceptance and belonging and validation coming straight from the greatest Lover in all the universe.
Basically, all these ideas are in the book. I wanted to put them down before I forgot them all. Again.
Monday, February 06, 2006
THE HUENEKES DO LONDON
I just returned from my mission to secure tickets for tonight's performance of Guys and Dolls at the Piccadilly Theatre. I was nervous about doing this because I was warned that many places advertise that they are offering half-price tickets, but are really trying to scam you. So I thought I would ask around quite a bit at different vendors. The tricky part about doing this was a) finding some, b) remembering the quote each place gave me, and c) not getting lost while I tried to retrace my steps to the lowest quoter.
Thankfully, most places told me 30 pounds a ticket (except for the places that told me 33, 70, and 75 *cough cough*). So tonight, we are off to the theater. The only bummer is that I learned Ewan McGregor is not playing the male lead anymore, and apparently hasn't since before Christmas. Perhaps someone should consider taking down all the posters with his face on them that are plastered all over town?
Save only a couple misadventures (e.g., misreading the time of our original London Eye "flight" and missing it by two hours - damned military time - and accidentally paying a whole pound to use the ladies' room at the train station when it only costs 20 pence), we have had a wonderful time here. Staying at the Marriott has been a pleasure; we are very centrally located, and I have even treated myself to a bubble bath for the past three nights. That's more bubble baths than I've taken in the past two years combined.
Friday night, we enjoyed some Lebanese food nearby our hotel and then walked down to Piccadilly Circus and Leicester Square. Philip was curious to see Piccadilly since it's the British version of Times Square. I told him he wouldn't like it because of all the overwhelming advertisements, and I was right, but that didn't stop us from taking some pictures. Many lanterns were still up from the Chinese New Year celebration that had taken place the week earlier, so that was fun to see.
On Saturday morning, we headed over to the market on Portobello Street. This was probably my favorite tourist stop. The market, located in Notting Hill, went on for miles and provided lots to see - antiques, fresh breads and fruit, clothing, artwork... We bought lunch from the vendors, and my husband agreed to me buying a beautiful, overpriced purse.
From there we headed to the British Museum. I was fascinated by the statues from the Ancient Near East and Ancient Egypt, especially since I recently completed editing a manuscript that talked a lot about ancient cultures in relationship to the nation God was establishing in the Israelites. In the evening, we walked across the Hungerford Pedestrian Bridge, through Trafalgar Square, and then all the way down to Buckingham Palace.
On Sunday morning we visited the U.K. Hillsong Church. What an experience! The music was very exciting, and it was a special week themed "Because We Can." The idea is that we can do our part to make poverty history. They highlighted several organizations worldwide that are rescuing children from poverty and its trappings, and the presentations were very dynamic and heartbreaking. Philip and I both left inspired to take some specific steps toward being more involved.
We had lunch at the Audley, a pub where on Sundays you can order a traditional roast. It was so good, I thought I might pass out. From there we headed over to Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, and the Parliament Houses to take some photos before the sun was completely gone. Then we made our way to Abbey Road and the studios there. We finished our evening by (successfully) riding the London Eye. Well, Philip's evening wasn't quite done. He caught the first half of the Super Bowl in our hotel room, starting at about 11 p.m. The announcers were British! Definitely different.
Philip finishes his work today, so Tuesday and Wednesday are free for us to do more sightseeing. We are heading to Salisbury tomorrow to see its medieval cathedral and neighborhoods, and on Wednesday we will tour Stonehenge.
I'm excited to head out into the country. Philip is enjoying London, but I want him to see the countryside, because I think it will resonate with him even more. The quaint houses and rolling, rocky hills definitely have something on the advertisement-strewn, bustling city streets.
Until later, loves.
Thankfully, most places told me 30 pounds a ticket (except for the places that told me 33, 70, and 75 *cough cough*). So tonight, we are off to the theater. The only bummer is that I learned Ewan McGregor is not playing the male lead anymore, and apparently hasn't since before Christmas. Perhaps someone should consider taking down all the posters with his face on them that are plastered all over town?
Save only a couple misadventures (e.g., misreading the time of our original London Eye "flight" and missing it by two hours - damned military time - and accidentally paying a whole pound to use the ladies' room at the train station when it only costs 20 pence), we have had a wonderful time here. Staying at the Marriott has been a pleasure; we are very centrally located, and I have even treated myself to a bubble bath for the past three nights. That's more bubble baths than I've taken in the past two years combined.
Friday night, we enjoyed some Lebanese food nearby our hotel and then walked down to Piccadilly Circus and Leicester Square. Philip was curious to see Piccadilly since it's the British version of Times Square. I told him he wouldn't like it because of all the overwhelming advertisements, and I was right, but that didn't stop us from taking some pictures. Many lanterns were still up from the Chinese New Year celebration that had taken place the week earlier, so that was fun to see.
On Saturday morning, we headed over to the market on Portobello Street. This was probably my favorite tourist stop. The market, located in Notting Hill, went on for miles and provided lots to see - antiques, fresh breads and fruit, clothing, artwork... We bought lunch from the vendors, and my husband agreed to me buying a beautiful, overpriced purse.
From there we headed to the British Museum. I was fascinated by the statues from the Ancient Near East and Ancient Egypt, especially since I recently completed editing a manuscript that talked a lot about ancient cultures in relationship to the nation God was establishing in the Israelites. In the evening, we walked across the Hungerford Pedestrian Bridge, through Trafalgar Square, and then all the way down to Buckingham Palace.
On Sunday morning we visited the U.K. Hillsong Church. What an experience! The music was very exciting, and it was a special week themed "Because We Can." The idea is that we can do our part to make poverty history. They highlighted several organizations worldwide that are rescuing children from poverty and its trappings, and the presentations were very dynamic and heartbreaking. Philip and I both left inspired to take some specific steps toward being more involved.
We had lunch at the Audley, a pub where on Sundays you can order a traditional roast. It was so good, I thought I might pass out. From there we headed over to Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, and the Parliament Houses to take some photos before the sun was completely gone. Then we made our way to Abbey Road and the studios there. We finished our evening by (successfully) riding the London Eye. Well, Philip's evening wasn't quite done. He caught the first half of the Super Bowl in our hotel room, starting at about 11 p.m. The announcers were British! Definitely different.
Philip finishes his work today, so Tuesday and Wednesday are free for us to do more sightseeing. We are heading to Salisbury tomorrow to see its medieval cathedral and neighborhoods, and on Wednesday we will tour Stonehenge.
I'm excited to head out into the country. Philip is enjoying London, but I want him to see the countryside, because I think it will resonate with him even more. The quaint houses and rolling, rocky hills definitely have something on the advertisement-strewn, bustling city streets.
Until later, loves.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
UPDATE FROM ACROSS THE OCEAN
Greetings from London. I'm not joking. Philip is here on business, and I came along, because, well, why not? Our lodging and his flight are being covered by his work, so our only large expense was my flight.
So here I am in our hotel room, taking advantage of the wireless Internet. It's a bit like Lost in Translation, minus the karaoke. And of course, Philip isn't wearing ridiculous sunglasses and running around with supermodels, and the only other man I'm spending my days with is a stuffed monkey. I just had lunch at Pizza Hut (again, not joking) and am listening to Imogen Heap, because being in the U.K. just has me in the mood for some blond power Brit-pop.
I am surfacing just briefly to "blog" before I have to jump back into another editing project. My editing "career" has really taken off, a direct answer to prayer. I have completed four projects in the last two months, which is about twice as much work as I did from January to October 2004.
But of course, as I am the kind of person who struggles to be content with her circumstances, I am questioning if I really want this much work. What is wrong with me? I am just feeling a) too busy, and b) like writing has fallen completely off my radar.
I am also working a couple days a week at Barnes & Noble. The purpose of joining the bookseller ranks was to get out of the house a bit (being alone at home all week long gets one a bit stir-crazy) and to develop some friendships outside of my church circles. No offense to all you Christian friends, of course. So that adds to the fullness of my schedule.
It's give-and-take, I guess. Becoming a retail worker and having 40+ hours of work a week total, in a lot of ways, has made me happier. I feel less lonely and more like an actively contributing member of society, not to mention like a more equally contributing member of my household. But time with my husband, my friends, and my writing has all suffered as a consequence. Not like I was writing much when I had all the time in the world anyway... (Sidenote: Being around thousands of books at B&N is both inspiring and intimidating. As I hold a nice smooth paperback in my hands, I think, I could do this - write one of these. I should be doing this. But the reasons why I don't are varied and reveal a lot of my insecurities and shortcomings, and honestly, I just don't want to get into it again right now.)
Anyway, finding a nice balance in life and a strong sense of purpose in my relationships and work is something I think I will always be striving after - in other words, I don't think I'll ever fully attain either. Sometimes the fulcrum is closer to the middle than others.
Over Christmas, the fulcrum was waaaaay far to the side, as too many hours at B&N, two editing projects, a party we were planning, Christmas shopping, and my grandfather's illness had me virtually spinning and feeling close to a breakdown. My husband got pushed pretty far down on the priority list, which definitely put a strain on our marriage, not to mention hurt him, which is the last thing I ever want to do.
Now, things are not nearly so stressful, but I still feel like I want life to slow down. Nevertheless, I am breathing sighs of relief that our pace looks nothing like it did back in December. I have so much to be thankful for that it's a bit overwhelming when I stop to think about it. I love being married to Philip; we have so much fun, and the security and intimacy of being this-side of the wedding with him is something so precious I can't even really describe it. Our apartment is truly a haven and a personalized home, which is something I feel that I'm wholly experiencing for the first time since I left for college eight years ago (eight years ago??). I am feeling more and more at home in Orlando, as I build friendships and slowly define my roles in our church and in my work. Living downtown helps also; the area fits much better with my sensibilities. And of course, we are healthy and well provided for; we can travel, and we have a lot to look forward to.
So that is life in a nutshell ("No! This is me in a nutshell: 'Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?'") I'm sorry for being absent from this blog for so long. Now that I feel that I have you a bit caught up, I'll try to be on here more frequently, and consequently, make the entries shorter and easier to digest. (smile)
Cheers.
So here I am in our hotel room, taking advantage of the wireless Internet. It's a bit like Lost in Translation, minus the karaoke. And of course, Philip isn't wearing ridiculous sunglasses and running around with supermodels, and the only other man I'm spending my days with is a stuffed monkey. I just had lunch at Pizza Hut (again, not joking) and am listening to Imogen Heap, because being in the U.K. just has me in the mood for some blond power Brit-pop.
I am surfacing just briefly to "blog" before I have to jump back into another editing project. My editing "career" has really taken off, a direct answer to prayer. I have completed four projects in the last two months, which is about twice as much work as I did from January to October 2004.
But of course, as I am the kind of person who struggles to be content with her circumstances, I am questioning if I really want this much work. What is wrong with me? I am just feeling a) too busy, and b) like writing has fallen completely off my radar.
I am also working a couple days a week at Barnes & Noble. The purpose of joining the bookseller ranks was to get out of the house a bit (being alone at home all week long gets one a bit stir-crazy) and to develop some friendships outside of my church circles. No offense to all you Christian friends, of course. So that adds to the fullness of my schedule.
It's give-and-take, I guess. Becoming a retail worker and having 40+ hours of work a week total, in a lot of ways, has made me happier. I feel less lonely and more like an actively contributing member of society, not to mention like a more equally contributing member of my household. But time with my husband, my friends, and my writing has all suffered as a consequence. Not like I was writing much when I had all the time in the world anyway... (Sidenote: Being around thousands of books at B&N is both inspiring and intimidating. As I hold a nice smooth paperback in my hands, I think, I could do this - write one of these. I should be doing this. But the reasons why I don't are varied and reveal a lot of my insecurities and shortcomings, and honestly, I just don't want to get into it again right now.)
Anyway, finding a nice balance in life and a strong sense of purpose in my relationships and work is something I think I will always be striving after - in other words, I don't think I'll ever fully attain either. Sometimes the fulcrum is closer to the middle than others.
Over Christmas, the fulcrum was waaaaay far to the side, as too many hours at B&N, two editing projects, a party we were planning, Christmas shopping, and my grandfather's illness had me virtually spinning and feeling close to a breakdown. My husband got pushed pretty far down on the priority list, which definitely put a strain on our marriage, not to mention hurt him, which is the last thing I ever want to do.
Now, things are not nearly so stressful, but I still feel like I want life to slow down. Nevertheless, I am breathing sighs of relief that our pace looks nothing like it did back in December. I have so much to be thankful for that it's a bit overwhelming when I stop to think about it. I love being married to Philip; we have so much fun, and the security and intimacy of being this-side of the wedding with him is something so precious I can't even really describe it. Our apartment is truly a haven and a personalized home, which is something I feel that I'm wholly experiencing for the first time since I left for college eight years ago (eight years ago??). I am feeling more and more at home in Orlando, as I build friendships and slowly define my roles in our church and in my work. Living downtown helps also; the area fits much better with my sensibilities. And of course, we are healthy and well provided for; we can travel, and we have a lot to look forward to.
So that is life in a nutshell ("No! This is me in a nutshell: 'Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?'") I'm sorry for being absent from this blog for so long. Now that I feel that I have you a bit caught up, I'll try to be on here more frequently, and consequently, make the entries shorter and easier to digest. (smile)
Cheers.
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