UPDATE FROM ACROSS THE OCEAN

Greetings from London. I'm not joking. Philip is here on business, and I came along, because, well, why not? Our lodging and his flight are being covered by his work, so our only large expense was my flight.

So here I am in our hotel room, taking advantage of the wireless Internet. It's a bit like Lost in Translation, minus the karaoke. And of course, Philip isn't wearing ridiculous sunglasses and running around with supermodels, and the only other man I'm spending my days with is a stuffed monkey. I just had lunch at Pizza Hut (again, not joking) and am listening to Imogen Heap, because being in the U.K. just has me in the mood for some blond power Brit-pop.

I am surfacing just briefly to "blog" before I have to jump back into another editing project. My editing "career" has really taken off, a direct answer to prayer. I have completed four projects in the last two months, which is about twice as much work as I did from January to October 2004.

But of course, as I am the kind of person who struggles to be content with her circumstances, I am questioning if I really want this much work. What is wrong with me? I am just feeling a) too busy, and b) like writing has fallen completely off my radar.

I am also working a couple days a week at Barnes & Noble. The purpose of joining the bookseller ranks was to get out of the house a bit (being alone at home all week long gets one a bit stir-crazy) and to develop some friendships outside of my church circles. No offense to all you Christian friends, of course. So that adds to the fullness of my schedule.

It's give-and-take, I guess. Becoming a retail worker and having 40+ hours of work a week total, in a lot of ways, has made me happier. I feel less lonely and more like an actively contributing member of society, not to mention like a more equally contributing member of my household. But time with my husband, my friends, and my writing has all suffered as a consequence. Not like I was writing much when I had all the time in the world anyway... (Sidenote: Being around thousands of books at B&N is both inspiring and intimidating. As I hold a nice smooth paperback in my hands, I think, I could do this - write one of these. I should be doing this. But the reasons why I don't are varied and reveal a lot of my insecurities and shortcomings, and honestly, I just don't want to get into it again right now.)

Anyway, finding a nice balance in life and a strong sense of purpose in my relationships and work is something I think I will always be striving after - in other words, I don't think I'll ever fully attain either. Sometimes the fulcrum is closer to the middle than others.

Over Christmas, the fulcrum was waaaaay far to the side, as too many hours at B&N, two editing projects, a party we were planning, Christmas shopping, and my grandfather's illness had me virtually spinning and feeling close to a breakdown. My husband got pushed pretty far down on the priority list, which definitely put a strain on our marriage, not to mention hurt him, which is the last thing I ever want to do.

Now, things are not nearly so stressful, but I still feel like I want life to slow down. Nevertheless, I am breathing sighs of relief that our pace looks nothing like it did back in December. I have so much to be thankful for that it's a bit overwhelming when I stop to think about it. I love being married to Philip; we have so much fun, and the security and intimacy of being this-side of the wedding with him is something so precious I can't even really describe it. Our apartment is truly a haven and a personalized home, which is something I feel that I'm wholly experiencing for the first time since I left for college eight years ago (eight years ago??). I am feeling more and more at home in Orlando, as I build friendships and slowly define my roles in our church and in my work. Living downtown helps also; the area fits much better with my sensibilities. And of course, we are healthy and well provided for; we can travel, and we have a lot to look forward to.

So that is life in a nutshell ("No! This is me in a nutshell: 'Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?'") I'm sorry for being absent from this blog for so long. Now that I feel that I have you a bit caught up, I'll try to be on here more frequently, and consequently, make the entries shorter and easier to digest. (smile)

Cheers.