EVERYONE'S FAVORITE PERSON

There's a good chance that you have positive memories of your grandma. Maybe she always had cookies when you came over or maybe she gave you a few extra dollars from time to time. Perhaps her very presence was calming and inviting. While traveling on a train in England today, I sat across from one of these special people.

This grandma was traveling with what appeared to be her 30-something son, 20-something daughter and the 20-something daughter's two pre-school age children. But this grandma wasn't just another grandma on a family trip. As I got on the train, I saw that she and her children were punishing Carling tall-boys (English beer). This is 12pm on a Monday. Also, I thought it was odd that she was carrying a grocery bag filled with other miscellaneous beers. Whatever. You're allowed to drink on trains over here, so no biggy, right? Sporting a thigh length sweater dress, knee high boots and a belly that would make most truckers jealous, I kept thinking, "when did Posh Spice get so old?". When grandma would talk (belligerently slur) at her grandkids, they would just look at her like confused puppies. Grandma would get frustrated and try to hit unsuccessfully swat them. Next, she would lean over to me saying, "I'll spend Beckham's effin money... you bet... effin...".

Needless to say, she made the train ride really long. There really is no deep moral to this post. Several British people have talked to me about how many rednecks there are in America. Apparently they exist in England too.

DRESSED FOR HALLOWEEN

Here it is, Halloween already. I've always really enjoyed the holiday - what's not to like about dressing up and getting free candy?

We were encouraged to wear a costume to work today; we're having a party (complete with booze - on campus - I feel like I work for David Brent at the Wernham Hogg paper company in Slough) today in about an hour. My boss asked me a few days ago if I was going to dress up; she thought I might be religiously against Halloween.

I am not religiously against Halloween. I'm not a huge fan of dressing up like a ghost or witch or anything overtly evil (although I did go to a party once as Britney Spears in her Catholic schoolgirl outfit, which was pretty skanky of me), but I don't see anything wrong with costumes and candy and goofy decorations like fake spider webs and people getting together to have a good time and build memories. Plus it's all part of the whole fall experience.

Since I didn't have much time to put together a costume, I came as a person from a cold-medicine ad. I'm in my PJs with tussled hair and a blanket around my shoulders, and I used makeup to darken the circles under my eyes and make my nose red. Not terribly creative, but comfortable at least. And I only had to spend about 10 minutes getting ready for work this morning.

I've done better other years. In high school I went once as Cruella Deville, with a leopard-print coat and my hair painted black on one side and white on the other. I've gone as the tooth fairy, Rapunzel, and an '80s valley girl, and a couple years ago, Philip and I appeared at a party I threw as Napoleon Dynamite and Deb.

The Deb costume was pretty good, but apart from Napoleon, not terribly obvious. Unlike Philip (in his "Vote for Pedro" T-shirt and curly wig) whose costume was unmistakable solo, mine needed a little explanation. I did get some amusing guesses as to my identity. Clad in tennis shoes with slouch socks, a side ponytail, and a rad fannypack, guests at the party wondered if I was a tourist, or even funnier, if I was dressed as the host of a Christian party. Best of all, my mother-in-law didn't think I had worn a costume.

Around here, people have been pretty creative. I've seen a '50s drive-up waitress on roller skates, a mullet-clad redneck, an enthusiastic Steve Irwin, and a Man in Black - complete with guitar - among others. We'll see what other unique costumes people are sporting here in a few.

WE'RE GOING.

World Series. Game one. 10.21.06. Bless you boys.

I MISS THIS.