JESUS ROCKS

Agreed.

INEXPERIENCE

NA is undergoing some changes (mostly due to my internet ignorance).

Please bare with this older version of the site while I monkey around in the background. GY!BE will get us through this. I promise.

DON'T READ IF YOU'D RATHER NOT HEAR SOME GRIPES

I've had a fairly stressful string of things happen in my life lately. I don't want to sound all woe-is-me or anything, but it's like I start to wonder if I'm crazy. I look around, and most of my twentysomething contemporaries seem busy, but not overloaded; they seem somewhat stressed, but not haggard (thanks, Thesaurus.com); they seem to be burdened by a small aggravation or two, but not buried by several distressing situations. Then I look at myself, especially over the last few weeks. I've been crying; I've been cursing. I've had nightmares; I've driven Philip nuts by my constant complaints. He actually thanked me for not talking about work over dinner the other night. That can't be good.

I go to bed at night feeling nervous, like I'm forgetting something or neglecting someone. I wake up tired and overwhelmed by the day that stretches in front of me. And I wonder, What is wrong with me? Do I have depression? Am I just a characteristically unhappy person? Is the problem my attitude? My lack of quiet times?

But consider that in the last three weeks:
1. I returned home from vacation to a dead car battery and a leaking roof.
2. A good friend got in a car wreck that has left her on bedrest for a month and a half, and she is experiencing pain spasms and uncontrollable twitches.
3. Hurricane Francis came, requiring us to cover my entire house with plastic and make five trips to the dump to get rid of the debris in my cul-de-sac, which was in danger of becoming "dangerous projectiles."
4. Hurricane Francis prevented Philip and I from traveling to IL to visit my family, which was severly disappointing.
5. A close friend and coworker was unexpectedly fired from my workplace.
6. A former roommate moved out of my house, and a new roommate moved in.
7. A large praise concert event at my church was causing some dissention and worry among my church peers, and we needed to step in to help pull the plans together.
8. Philip had a birthday, which I of course wanted to help make very special for him, despite the time-sucking events of recent days.

I guess I'm just looking for persmission to feel stressed. I guess what I want is validation, the assurance that I'm not just a whiney wimp who will never be satisfied, who just needs to pray and read her Bible more in order to get a grip on life. And I just want it to stop, you know? I want a break. I don't mean that I want a problem-free life. I just want a free night at home once in a while. I want to feel like I'm living with balance and intentionality and purpose and not just desperately trying to keep the plates spinning. And stuff like that.

THEY SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY

Yesterday was Philip's 25th birthday. I made a dinner of salmon, twice-baked potatoes, and green beans. He got sick before he went to bed. Hopefully the two were not related.

If you haven't already, wish him a happy birthday!